Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
