he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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