Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
