Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
