I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
