I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i think i just lost a toe
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
