I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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