Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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