Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
