This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
