Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
