We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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