I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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