so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
