I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
