So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
