Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
