For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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