does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
