I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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