Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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