I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
