I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
