we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
