Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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