Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
