is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
