and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
