so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
