Christians are straight up FREAKS
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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