Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
