Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
