i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
