Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
