Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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