Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
