I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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