Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
