i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
