One girl and one boy is just not enough.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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