love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
