Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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