New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
