He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
PANTIES FOUND
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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