yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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