I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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