NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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