I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
