We're like a lot better than the average bears
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
