i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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